Post# 18 Fancy Up Those Bits!

Erica tells us about Genital Accessorizing in Podcast Episode #14 !

Boys and Girls, just when you thought Body Acceptance meant we are all enough as we are…here comes a plethora of choices to make your private parts better, bigger, shinier! Most of these techniques are temporary and one will require a real investment of time.

Let’s just jump right in.

Vajazzle and Penazzle: Yay, sparkles!

This technique started as a high-end spa treatment where a wax job was finished off by attaching Swarovski crystals in decorative patterns to the freshly waxed area. Apparently Jennifer Love Hewitt is a big fan of this personal bedazzling and is considered the matron saint of the Vajazzle! Just know that those little jewels can fall off…and settle someplace sensitive. Ow!

Bulge Enhancing Underwear

Okay, this is the same false advertising that comes with the padded bra. It may look inviting, but at some point – if it does what it’s supposed to – You’re gonna be standing naked without it, and disappointing somebody.

The Cuchini Camel Toe Guard

Camel toe is never a good fashion choice. The Cuchini is here to cover the ridges of the ridges of the mons pubis area, creating a smooth appearance. So, yeah, basically it’s a pillow you stick in your bikini bottom to spare yourself from the supposed crippling embarrassment of owning a vagina.

The Bibhanger Genital Weighting System

These are junk weights to help with the length and girth of the penis. The process is very similar the bodybuilding in that it will take dedication and consistency on your part…and time! Like months or years of dangling junk from your junk to see any visible results. Safety is definitely an issue here as skin rashes and permanent damage to the penis can occur.

Pubic Hair Dyes

‘Cuz green and pink pubes are fun! You can do this yourself, Boys and Girls, just be aware of what kind of dye you’re using. Regular hair dyes can contain very harsh chemicals that were never meant for such delicate skin…nor meant to be that close to your hoo-ha. There are dyes made specifically for pubic hair like Betty Beauty.

Vatooing

No, it’s not vaginal tattooing. It’s actually airbrushing body paint onto the mons pubis and perhaps the outer labia…after a good waxing, of course! Any image or words are possible and this temporary art display will last up to 7 days (provided there’s no friction in that area). You may want to do an allergy test to make sure you don’t have a reaction to the body paint. Talk about a bad spot for an allergic reaction!

Accessories are always fun, and there’s nothing wrong with adding a few to your life if they make you feel good. Do your research, though! A bumpy rash or a kinked penis is probably not the accessory you were hoping for.